So my last post i actually wrote about a week ago during finals week.. and its funny how things turn out.. and how when your going through something you cant imagine what the outcomes could be.. or if you do you think only of negative outcomes. But as it turns out i passed my math final finishing stats... got all B's in all my other courses, and now have begun summer 2012. I have been home now for 4 days, and it does start to feel alot longer.. its funny how your mind can play tricks on you. However today was one of the most special days I have had in a while. I spent it with my boyfriend of 9 months and some odd days, and we did not have any stress, worries, problems, concerns, things we had to do, any plans or time frame, we were free. It was one of the most happy carefree days, I have had in a while. I love him so much, and sometimes i dont show him how much he means to me enough in little ways little kisses, holding hands, and just sitting with him and listening to him not just talking. I have never been much for public display of affection, and even though i am super friendly im not really a touchy feely type of person, but sometimes its nice to show affection in these ways, and today i let go and i did kiss him in public did hold his hand, listened to him and told him how much he means to me. I cannot say where we will be in a year or two or even a few months, I know where I want us to be. However instead of putting pressure on our relationship and worrying about staying together, breaking up, how long we have been together, how long other people have been together, comparing our relationships to others, I just want to live in the present. In the now. NOT the yesterday, or last year, or tomorrow or next year. I just want our relationship to keep growing and moving foward in the carefree, demandless, way it was today. I am making it my goal, to stop comparing to others, and jsut cherrish what we have now, where we are in life right now, and who we are as people right now, together and seperate. When you put demands and expectations on love and how it should be and with who, you lose the beauty and innocence of it. I never want to outgrow the beauty, innocence, and meaning of love. One of my few but favorite quotes from the bible (I am no righteous high mighty church go-er, or even a regular church go-er, but I belive in God, and Jesus Christ, and his words.)
1 Corinthians 13:
"4Love is
patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there
are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
9For we know in
part and we prophesy in part, 10but when
perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a
child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see
but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know
in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these
three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
For some reason this quote/scripture whatever you want to call it, gives me joy, and fills me with a feeling of wholness. It calms me, and brings upon me relaxation. I think this symbolizes what love is and should remain.
Anyways I know that seems like a rant, but everyone must remember the feeling of love, and wanting to preserve it, and making it your goal to keep it as real, exciting, new, and free as it was in the begining, when it was only a spark. Other than me just rambling about love, and feelings, it is summer and i will be a junior in college next year.. and man has time flown by.. i feel like just yesterday i was a freshman entering into college and now i am going on my third year! its just crazzy thats all thats too it, no other way to describe it.
Below are the picture of my wonderful day spent with my love, and his (our) 6 month old puppy Bentley. These are my own pictures taken on my nikon D5000, by me and then the ones I am in are from my boyfriend taking them :)
and many more, however some i like to keep for myself, and do not want the few followers I do have left to get bored or annoyed with my pictures and rants
xoxo
Erin
(All of the photos in this post are mine, I have rights to all of them, thank you xoxo)
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