my blog title should be "diary of an insomniac"

"diary of an insomniac" would fit my blog much more perfectly right about now.. considering i have a major problem sleeping.. the past like week or whenever i come home i just cant sleep! i sleep perfectly fine at school..okay not perfectly fine.. but better then i ever will or attempt at home.. I swear im nocturnal.. im the first nocturnal person..besides well.. dracula? but hes not even a human.. oh god .. see what happens when you dont sleep!??


me around 9 pm...dang i cant wait to sleep! sleep sounds sooo good man am i tired...
11pm...okay almost time for bed...
1230am... got to go atleast try to go to sleep
130am....this is gonna be one of those nights isnt it?....ughdlaksjdksjd
230am...well there is still 5 hours ill get to sleep if i fall asleep right....NOW..wait no RIGHT NOW... COMEON RIGHT NOW..
3....ew the devils hour(too many scary movies)
4am.. ahh not the devils hour anymore i have a chance to sleep
6am...my alarm goes off......
7 am ...worst sleep of my life and no rest time all day..



WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING:

ahh how peacefull does that look!?!?

this should be me.... i dont even care if that cat was to stare at me..



WHAT I AM ACTUALLY DOING:

~There you have it my very USUAL uneventful NIGHT of INSOMNIA. that unfortunately happens more regularly then irregularly! This adds to my stress which makes me anxious which basically ends up throwing off the rest of my week and then i crash right before the weekend or have a major cry fest because due to lack of sleep my emotions have become derailed and out of control..lets hope this weeks different! ayyye positive attitude A+. and it just so happens i am blessed with a family who never suffers from insomnia and usually goes to bed at like nine.. as well as my friends so when i look for consolation ...well there is none.. i am alone like usually at quarter to 3.


NEW TOPIC:
I decided to create this blog to first have a spot to hold my favorite memories and pictures i love.
then i decided to make a blog because i fell inlove with tumblr but wanted to make the next step up to a big person blog. I also wanted a spot where it was easy for my friends and family who i dont see very often could see the things i like and get to know me better. Also sometimes i feel like people dont really understand me or dont know the real me.. so what better of a person to show/tell them then myself??

im usually a very private person.. i mean dont get me wrong im loud,obnoxious,hyper, did i say loud? talkative person.. but i dont like my business anywhere else .... it aggravates me when people always try to get in your business through other people also..like if your curious i understand that ..but just ask me. id rather tell you the truth myself then you hear some lie from someone else you know? eh.. and to think people tell you that drama stops in highschool ...not quite exactly.. dont get me wrong its definatly alot less..it just depends on the people you surround yourself with.(GOD I SOUND LIKE MY MOM) (hi mom if your reading this.. its not a bad thing ...its just ironic..)

So ive made some bad decisions or got caught up with the wrong people but those who know me know me and those who dont well either get to..or i dont care too:) Who hasnt had a few rough times or done something they regretted? we all get choices (2nd chances) and the real winners are the ones that know to move on and never look back. I feel everything happens for a reason all the things i did not want to happen or was not happy with at first i look back and see why they had to happen and what the reason for it happening was.. and alot of the time im grateful these things did happen. It has made me who i am, and who i am becoming.

okay so enough of that rambling.. again this is what happens when you dont sleep... im waiting for the minute until my dad comes and knocks on my door yelling at me for still being up and being on the computor let alone blogging.. that will throw him over the edge.. EEK scary when hes mad..

OHWELL till then ill continue to ramble on...

So another misconception people have is that you grow out of being scared of the dark or believing in ghosts and monsters...LET ME TELL YOU.. this is not always the case.. especially with me.. Maybe im just the exception.. it wouldnt necissarily suprise me but there has to be atleast one other person out there who has yet to outgrow their fear or the dark/monsters/ghosts....well atleast i hope so. I cant help it. ill forget about being scared of the dark & such things and then the movies come out with something like "PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3"  and there ya go.. right back to square one. I mean really how does noone else loose sleep over something as terrifing as that... the worst part is i didnt even see the movie and get this freaked out.. i have only seen the previews. & LORD HAVE MERCY that was more then enough. Im sure this is what contributes to my lack of sleep also. maybe one day ill outgrow this.. sooner then later i hope!